Nippy Nippy

So i went to the Asian bakery & brought a vanilla milkshake....it was made by "nipppys" funny that.

Also was at football training and a few of my team-mates were saying "Lee" "Lee" "Lee" "Lee", to which Morgan said, "jesus, its like a Chinese phone book"

More casual racism to come.

Are you going round the twist?

About time i said something on here i think, iv been really busy setting up the start of the NRL (rugby league) season. So for the last 3 weeks its been pretty hectic.
Calming down a bit now, so i can enjoy the awesome weather.
My cousin Aaron lands next Thursday for a week so that'll be good, and Mr Dunn arrives in 31 days...not that im counting MUCH!

Iv been with Lia for 6 months now (is that the sound of a thousand broken hearts?) and she's moving in, if im not at her place then she's at mine so it makes sense. The fact it brings the rent down by a 3rd has nothing to do with it officer...may take a little getting used to but looking forward to it very much so.

The football season starts for our team on Saturday! its been 6 months in waiting and finally its here, something to keep me out of the pub on Saturdays YESSSS!

I went to Melbourne the other week, and see what people mean when they say "oooh you'll like Melbourne" why did literally everyone i spoke to about it say that...now when people say there going there i say "i went there a few weeks ago, you'll like it in Melbourne". I think they have some mind control device down there?
Its a bit more European, seems like older buildings and smaller streets, with lots of coffee shops and wicked shops. Chapel St is similar to Cowley Rd, it did seem to be, Second hand clothes shop, Comic book shop, Cafe, womens clothes shop. This theme continued all the way done the street.

Settling well over here now, i had a chest scan for my visa last week. Hopefully that comes back showing that i don't have TB and i have all more organs (yes even a heart you sceptic bunch) then fingers crossed i will have a 457 visa allowing me to stay for 4 MORE YEARS, 4 MORE YEARS. Sorry i thought i was at a election party.

Looking at booking a holiday back to Blighty around Sept. I'll be in touch.

Final thought: why do all employees of optician's wear glasses?

Shmucks!! Bloody Scmucks!

Tea Bag Trays. Why do people have a porcelain tray in there kitchen to put used tea bags on? Walk over to the bin you lazy idiot, why would you even buy one or these…or if you were given one as a present surely you would say. “thanks iv been waiting for a piece of junk like this to show of my used tea bags in the kitchen for years”. This is almost as bad as the RETARDS who put tea bags in the sink, who does that?? I mean really.

Leaving the insides of toilet rolls in the toilet? They will need to go in the bin eventually and if you are the person who has put a new toilet roll in the loo, then why not take the bit of cardboard out of the toilet to the BIN!

** Unless you have children and are currently building Tracey Island as per Blue Peter instructions**

Returning videos (dvd’s for you kids). Please tell me it is only people in Australia with this problem about taking dvd’s back the next day? The amount of people who have told me “oh I don’t use them anymore, I ran up too many fines”
If you went to the dvd place the day before to pick up the dvd how hard is it to go there the next day and take it back, nobody seems to feel quite as passionately about this as me. ITS ASTOUNDING!

Finally I went to McDonalds, why do they call it Macca’s over here? Its not MACdonalds its Mcdonalds. And a spotty young snot squeals “sorry everyone we are out of buns, we only have Big Mac’s & Nuggets”.
1. Surely you would be out of burgers and buns, why would you not order enough buns for the burgers.
2. Im pretty sure a Big Mac comes in a bun
3. Im hungover, I don’t need this
4. With my McDonalds VIP card I want my free desert with each meal im about to order. She actually said “the till won’t let me do it” (Australian for computer says no).
5. As I left she told me. “did you know that in Brisbane, they do not use any mustard on their burgers” I would have been annoyed about this. But im a sucker for useless information like that.
6. As I walked away I realized, she could of rang the meals through separately…mean I could of got deserts with each meal. THE BITCH (but she had told me about the burgers in Brisbane so it wasn’t all bad)

My Movie (best cast ever)

I have the cast finalized for my movie, now i just need to start the script.
The cast is as follows:

Sylvester Stallone
Steven Segal
Jean Claude Van Damme
Patrick Swayze
Luis Guzman
Brian Dennehey
Christopher Lambert
kris kristofferson
Woody Harrelson
John C. Reilly
Will Ferrell

Im thinking they are a group of older men from say....a lawn bowls club, who in their spare time save a city from the "yoof of today". Combating such heinous crimes as.
* Gangs of hoodies loitering
* Happy Slapping
* Correcting their bad language (not swearing...things like "is it" & girls who say "shut up?" as a rhetorical question
* Sorting people OUT who wear white socks with trousers & shoes
* "Retiring" people who wear socks and sandals

This is still a work in progress but i bet you all can't wait to see this movie!

No need to say theses things but what the hey

1. Time liars.... people who are more than 20 minutes away & when you ring them and say.
"i'll be 5 mins". You know your not going to be 5 minutes so don't lie!

2. Crap football commentators! there seems to be more & more useless imbeciles at the moment. Always harping on about "that magical night in Barcelona" or "that amazing night in Istanbul". Yesterday i heard "that was in-between a yellow & red card wasn't it, like a orange card"....A ORANGE CARD? You prat! Give us some opinion or insight, not ridiculous comments or dumbing the game down to who's passing to whom.

3. Sayers's... No not the family of Leo Sayer, people who are "going to do - affix subject here -" people who incessantly say they are going to change something, travel somewhere, do something with someone even buy "that dvd"...if you have no intention of "going to do IT" please don't say you are.

4. Celebrity Magazine's... ban them, the amount of money made from these things is sickening. Stop buying them i.e. Fat porcupine haired cutted Australians & scum of the earth photographers don't make any money! They are full of steaming rat sh!t.

5. Mosquito's that bite my ankles, why are my ankles so delicious to these insects?

6. Parents who's children run riot, give them a smacked botty...yeah go on "give them something to cry about". No need to go Hubert Kilcoyne on their ass (old headmaster, who's catchphrase of - Stand Still While Im Shaking You Boy - ) only became funny when we'd left St Joesph's.

7. Speedo's!...Only for swimming competitivley PLEASE. Also what is the age you stop wearing Speedo's then start again? Im saying...stop at 11 start again at 57, i think thats acceptable??

I don't have much to complain about, but im trying OK!!!

Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken,

Time for a bit of a catch up i think. Mainly iv been drunk and full the last couple of weeks as you could imagine.

Firstly the parents got here on the 9th of Dec & Russ (the mute brother) arrived on the 20th. They've kept themselves busy watching our Foxtel (sky+) &....ummm you'll have to ask them what else they've been doing. As i said iv been drunk quite a bit.

I finished work on the 14th of Dec, as it ws our works do! THE BEST XMAS DO EVER.

Champagne brekkie at work.

In the Wharf Bar @ 11am.

Water Taxi to Darling harbour for food & drink.

Loss of memory around 11pm.

I go back to work on the 7th of Jan, but am going to work on Friday just to split it up a bit...also this gives me a day in lieu when i go back. This is probably the time when i miss friends back home the most as i know i would of been spending a lot of time with them. Sob Sob where's my violin!

I was in bed on Sunday after the Wainwright Clan were treated to dinner at Lia's in Surrey Hills, 10 drinks later i get woken up by Lia shouting. 

"The Chemist's a monkey, the chemist is a monkey.....She's really hairy....get her out get her out!!" as she is pushing me into the wall!?!? didn't have a clue, so i just went back to sleep.

Have been down the beach all day today with Russ, think he said 3 sentences! now he has a bit of sun-stroke (is feeling chilly) turns out he talks more when he's sun-stricken (is that a word).

Well this is a rubbish blog as i am not drunk at the minute, if im eating i never seem to get drunk, & i have been doing A LOT of eating.

MMmmmm nice

Brought a carrot cake yesterday, then when getting it through the front doors of our building, whilst struggling with surfboard & bag...which of the 3 did i drop?

NOOOOOOOOOOO! as i scooped it up (you could probably hear me in England, if you were awake)

I managed to scoop the icing back on and it wasn't as terrible as i first thought. David Beckham is in Sydney and the whole place is going mental. I was on a pontoon in the middle of Sydney Harbor setting up some adidas signs this morning...very weird!

Finally putting a pair of pants on straight out of the tumble dryer is possibly one of the best things ever.