Shmucks!! Bloody Scmucks!

Tea Bag Trays. Why do people have a porcelain tray in there kitchen to put used tea bags on? Walk over to the bin you lazy idiot, why would you even buy one or these…or if you were given one as a present surely you would say. “thanks iv been waiting for a piece of junk like this to show of my used tea bags in the kitchen for years”. This is almost as bad as the RETARDS who put tea bags in the sink, who does that?? I mean really.

Leaving the insides of toilet rolls in the toilet? They will need to go in the bin eventually and if you are the person who has put a new toilet roll in the loo, then why not take the bit of cardboard out of the toilet to the BIN!

** Unless you have children and are currently building Tracey Island as per Blue Peter instructions**

Returning videos (dvd’s for you kids). Please tell me it is only people in Australia with this problem about taking dvd’s back the next day? The amount of people who have told me “oh I don’t use them anymore, I ran up too many fines”
If you went to the dvd place the day before to pick up the dvd how hard is it to go there the next day and take it back, nobody seems to feel quite as passionately about this as me. ITS ASTOUNDING!

Finally I went to McDonalds, why do they call it Macca’s over here? Its not MACdonalds its Mcdonalds. And a spotty young snot squeals “sorry everyone we are out of buns, we only have Big Mac’s & Nuggets”.
1. Surely you would be out of burgers and buns, why would you not order enough buns for the burgers.
2. Im pretty sure a Big Mac comes in a bun
3. Im hungover, I don’t need this
4. With my McDonalds VIP card I want my free desert with each meal im about to order. She actually said “the till won’t let me do it” (Australian for computer says no).
5. As I left she told me. “did you know that in Brisbane, they do not use any mustard on their burgers” I would have been annoyed about this. But im a sucker for useless information like that.
6. As I walked away I realized, she could of rang the meals through separately…mean I could of got deserts with each meal. THE BITCH (but she had told me about the burgers in Brisbane so it wasn’t all bad)

My Movie (best cast ever)

I have the cast finalized for my movie, now i just need to start the script.
The cast is as follows:

Sylvester Stallone
Steven Segal
Jean Claude Van Damme
Patrick Swayze
Luis Guzman
Brian Dennehey
Christopher Lambert
kris kristofferson
Woody Harrelson
John C. Reilly
Will Ferrell

Im thinking they are a group of older men from say....a lawn bowls club, who in their spare time save a city from the "yoof of today". Combating such heinous crimes as.
* Gangs of hoodies loitering
* Happy Slapping
* Correcting their bad language (not swearing...things like "is it" & girls who say "shut up?" as a rhetorical question
* Sorting people OUT who wear white socks with trousers & shoes
* "Retiring" people who wear socks and sandals

This is still a work in progress but i bet you all can't wait to see this movie!

No need to say theses things but what the hey

1. Time liars.... people who are more than 20 minutes away & when you ring them and say.
"i'll be 5 mins". You know your not going to be 5 minutes so don't lie!

2. Crap football commentators! there seems to be more & more useless imbeciles at the moment. Always harping on about "that magical night in Barcelona" or "that amazing night in Istanbul". Yesterday i heard "that was in-between a yellow & red card wasn't it, like a orange card"....A ORANGE CARD? You prat! Give us some opinion or insight, not ridiculous comments or dumbing the game down to who's passing to whom.

3. Sayers's... No not the family of Leo Sayer, people who are "going to do - affix subject here -" people who incessantly say they are going to change something, travel somewhere, do something with someone even buy "that dvd"...if you have no intention of "going to do IT" please don't say you are.

4. Celebrity Magazine's... ban them, the amount of money made from these things is sickening. Stop buying them i.e. Fat porcupine haired cutted Australians & scum of the earth photographers don't make any money! They are full of steaming rat sh!t.

5. Mosquito's that bite my ankles, why are my ankles so delicious to these insects?

6. Parents who's children run riot, give them a smacked botty...yeah go on "give them something to cry about". No need to go Hubert Kilcoyne on their ass (old headmaster, who's catchphrase of - Stand Still While Im Shaking You Boy - ) only became funny when we'd left St Joesph's.

7. Speedo's!...Only for swimming competitivley PLEASE. Also what is the age you stop wearing Speedo's then start again? Im saying...stop at 11 start again at 57, i think thats acceptable??

I don't have much to complain about, but im trying OK!!!