Tuesday 9 November 2010

HOW MUCH

A few of us went karting out at fully sick Eastern Creek the other week.

After sweating our ass's off for about 2 hours...im more of a lower back, feet & forehead sweater, just for the record.

We then went to the Cricketers Arms for a beer afterwards, it was a lovely little pub reminded me of the sort of pub from the motherland / Oxfordshire...anyway i go to order 2 pints and a schnitzel and i am in return asked for forty three Australian Dollars. I hand over the cash, as I ask how much the pints are ($8.00 she replies) as she is sorting out my change I am doing some very basic mental arithmetic, $8.00 x 2 + $22.50 = . . . . about 20 seconds later I blurt out...

"ERRR excuse me 8 x 2 is 16 + 22.50 is 38.50....how did you get to 43.00??"
"gravy is $4.50"
"WHAT!! it better be liquid gold"....(walk away from the bar feeling cheated, but secretly hoping this is going to be some amazing gravy, that i will have to buy a barrel of before i leave)


The plates are put on the table and I scoop up some gravy all by itself, to taste this extortionately priced meaty juice...and its pretty boring to be honest. As im grumbling away into my plate. Davy next to me is tucking in to the same dish, gravy & all... to which he whispers.

i didn't even ask for gravy....!!


BASTARDO.

thoughts to paper

whad'up.

think its time i put some of the extremely useful thoughts that are going on in my head to paper:

Comedy sketch:
A family are sat around a dinner table with a mountain of bills on the table, looking stressed and debt-ridden (would need some good actors to pull off looking "debit ridden")
There's a knock at the door...the peer through the window to see who is there.
OH NO ITS THE BAYLEAVES!! - in stroll some hard looking Bayleaves.

Australians queing for the bar:
For some reason old Australians...and some ill taught younger ones, que up in a straight line away from the bar (not along it) then it is seen as horrendous manners if you go up to the bar. Wrong wrong wrong, line up along the bar and just have the eticate to direct the bar staff to the person who has been waiting the longest.