oh me oh my

I heard a story the other day about someone who brought a dress because he boyfriend was going to propose to her, the woman in the shop let the customer know that someone had brought the dress earlier the previous day but had returned it later on, with the labels intact also wishing the lady well and to...."let me know how you get on".

Two weeks later the woman comes back into the shop to return the dress, saying she had been proposed to but then the 3 days afterwards she had spent in hospital after receiving 3rd degree burns from the straps on the dress.

The shop owner got in contact with the person who had brought the dress in the first place...and she had to own up! She had brought the dress for her sisters funeral and did not have enough money to buy the dress, so she put her in it for the open casket then returned the dress!!
The formaldehyde that was on the body had rubbed off on the dress then reacted when the next owner wore the dress, burning her. EWWWWWWWWWWW!


I went kayaking to Cockatoo Island at the weekend (iv heard you like a cock or two, as Rodney has said on several occasions) it was really good fun with 2 out of the 3 of us capsizing and the 3rd slipping on his arse as soon as we got to the island, looking like he'd projectile-pooed his pants, this was one of the first things in which the 10 year old BULLIES tormented us for while we were putting up the tents, next on their list was calling us George, Sam & Tim...and the final straw was when they threw burger rings into our tent. We were effectively being bullied by 10 year olds and after, the age old adage of ignoring them and they will go away had no result we had to resort to "leave us alone or we will tell your parents what little fuckers your being!" JOB DONE.

We were invited to join a group of 15 women/girls from Camden who were on their works Christmas Party (from a swim school) they were a barrel of laughs and fed us up with their picnic snack and homemade quiche's! It was an experience to speak to possibly the dumbest blonde i have ever met, who when talking about black people said it with a bit of distain....so i had to say, that’s a bit racist. To which i heard one of the best comebacks i have ever heard (without a minuscule of sarcasm or irony)

Im not racist, Barrack Obama is hot!

JESUS H CHRIST!

Many other pearls of wisdom were spouted by this air brained entity, which left my jaw firmly rooted to the floor. She is in desperate need of some education.

$30 extra for my Casio illuminator/calculator watch in bright yellow rather than black, now that’s money well spent....isn't it?