Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken, Ham, Chicken,

Time for a bit of a catch up i think. Mainly iv been drunk and full the last couple of weeks as you could imagine.

Firstly the parents got here on the 9th of Dec & Russ (the mute brother) arrived on the 20th. They've kept themselves busy watching our Foxtel (sky+) &....ummm you'll have to ask them what else they've been doing. As i said iv been drunk quite a bit.

I finished work on the 14th of Dec, as it ws our works do! THE BEST XMAS DO EVER.

Champagne brekkie at work.

In the Wharf Bar @ 11am.

Water Taxi to Darling harbour for food & drink.

Loss of memory around 11pm.

I go back to work on the 7th of Jan, but am going to work on Friday just to split it up a bit...also this gives me a day in lieu when i go back. This is probably the time when i miss friends back home the most as i know i would of been spending a lot of time with them. Sob Sob where's my violin!

I was in bed on Sunday after the Wainwright Clan were treated to dinner at Lia's in Surrey Hills, 10 drinks later i get woken up by Lia shouting. 

"The Chemist's a monkey, the chemist is a monkey.....She's really hairy....get her out get her out!!" as she is pushing me into the wall!?!? didn't have a clue, so i just went back to sleep.

Have been down the beach all day today with Russ, think he said 3 sentences! now he has a bit of sun-stroke (is feeling chilly) turns out he talks more when he's sun-stricken (is that a word).

Well this is a rubbish blog as i am not drunk at the minute, if im eating i never seem to get drunk, & i have been doing A LOT of eating.

MMmmmm nice

Brought a carrot cake yesterday, then when getting it through the front doors of our building, whilst struggling with surfboard & bag...which of the 3 did i drop?

NOOOOOOOOOOO! as i scooped it up (you could probably hear me in England, if you were awake)

I managed to scoop the icing back on and it wasn't as terrible as i first thought. David Beckham is in Sydney and the whole place is going mental. I was on a pontoon in the middle of Sydney Harbor setting up some adidas signs this morning...very weird!

Finally putting a pair of pants on straight out of the tumble dryer is possibly one of the best things ever.

Steak & Cheese

I had heard Rob Lewis & PC talking about Wagyu steak's but had never done anything about it, Ben also had eaten one right in front of me...the swine! i had already ordered fish & chips and not seen it on the menu.
Well all this changed yesterday when i had one of these lovely steaks, with a knob of garlic butter on top and fries that were even better than Burger King's "king fries"....i am not the biggest fan of chips but these were 10 out of 10. I could not speak during this plate of unembroiled excellence nor for the few minutes afterwards.

I was out with Lia watching her friends band "Three Quarters Hazel" they were really good, but unfortunately they were out-done by the meal i had eaten just before they took the stage....and i hate to say it but they were also out-done by the desert i was about to have.

"Max Brenner Chocolate Bar" no this isn't a bar of chocolate, its an actual Bar/Cafe devoted to chocolate. Two pieces of this chocolate (20x20cm) cost $9.50, there are vat's of melted chocolate in the corner with pump's coming out of them...it is literally like Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. As soon as i saw cheesecake on the menu, then menu was closed.

When the first forkful hit my mouth, i thought id died and gone to umpa lumpa heaven. The picture below does not do it justice (think i was shaking from sheer pleasure): Served with HOT chocolate sauce and strawberry's this thing was Devinne! I have quite a sweet tooth and i had would not be able to eat a whole one of these in one sitting, it was just too decedent.



Apparently the specialized chocolate cafe/bar is not a new thing here. But it was new to me & i will definitely be visiting again.

Yoof of Today

So im on the ferry back to Manly on Sunday. Getting the ferry between 10am - 1pm is tourist torture! (maybe i can't talk as im technically on a tourist visa, but i live in Manly so that negates it) surrounded by babies...this maybe nice for the older generation who like to try and rip babies cheeks off and say awwww as they hover over prams like an older version of Angelica Houston in "The Witches" Jesus thats a scary film! No im not joking i DO NOT like that film.

Back to the point

So im taking Lia over to mine for a bit of R&R as she'd passed out at work the day before and had spent the arvo (that’s what they call the afternoon over here) in hospital...another long story.
We are sat by the door to the bit where you can go out on the side of the ship, you'd never guess i have 3 members of my family in the Navy with a description like that would ya. These "fluro kids"...you know the sort, florescent vest, probably wears skinny jeans & has sunglasses on that you used to get free from McDonalds...there talking about the little island forte (looks like a prison) as we passed it, we were lucky enough to overhear this gem of a conversation:

Fluro 1: Is that the prison where they used to hang people?
Fluro 2: -with real conviction- No that’s the one in America...Azkaban!
Fluro 1: Oh ok

Pause

Me: Excuse me...firstly i think you confusing Azkaban with Alcatraz & secondly your confusing Harry Potter with real life! now beat it you pesky scoundrels before you give me something else to get annoyed about.

Ok maybe i just said this to Lia and we both pee'd out pants, so much so the rest of the people on the ferry thought we were sinking in a yellow tidal wave (again im exacerbating) but seriously this did happen & it makes me want to squash these fools into mulch as a lesson to the rest of the Yoof of Today.

catch up

Had a bit of a busy weekend, Dave and myself had been given a 7 song set at our local "Shore Club" in Manly on Sat night and we rocked the place for a 25min set! The Wednesday & Thursday before hand we had whittled down around 30 great songs until we came up with our final list:

We built this city - Starship
Dancing on the ceiling - Lionel Ritchie
Live it up - Mental as Anything
Nine to five - Dolly Parton
I ran - Flock of Seagulls
Small town boy - Bronski Beat
Summer rain - Belinda Carlise

I think we all agree nobody would be able to stop themselves dancing to any of them songs!

The following morning after loosing an hour to daylight savings we had to meet at Manly Wharf to go over to the city to watch Sydney FC vs Central Coast Marriners, as Gavin had secured the suite for his birthday. 4 hours of free booze and food is now the way i have become accustomed to watching sporting events, its a hard life i know. The thai green curry had a lovely kick to it as we all sweated into our beers for the second half.
On the way back to Circular Quay to catch our ferry back to Manly, we got enticed into a juggling show....but not any juggling show.

This west country bumpkin (mean't in the kindest possibly way as that is basically my neck of the woods back home). Was juggling a chainsaw when we got there. Gordo, Ry, Ben & myself were asked to come and hold his pole. As you could imagine we were a bit hesitant, but when he explained we had to hold the 12ft metal pole that would be balancing his bmx, so he could stand on-top of it and juggle 3 objects. We threw ourselves into the show.
It was very impressive as he juggled a knife, fire torch & apple 15ft in the air! But he took his time getting to this point and by now we just needed more booze or we were in trouble of hitting "the wall".

We carried on into the night, and i think it may have been around 10pm when i decided i would shave all my hair and body hair off when i got in....this made so much sense at the time i could not believe nobody else had thought about it. So i went home and sheered myself.

First thoughts as i woke were; wee, water & oh well it'll grow back. Luckily i had the Monday off work, so i could go down the beach to try and get some colour on my white bonce & in the evening go to the Bavarian Beer Cafe for Ben's birthday.
Ben went in to reserve a table & his first guess that he had 25 friends turned out to be a slight miscalculation as we scrapped 15 to turn up in the end. The Bavarian = Good Beer, Poo Food. Especially when your food turns up cold & a cockroach of some description runs out of Rodneys salad...as if we need an excuse to dodge our salads, but we now had one. Suffice to say the tip was non-existent.

Talking of bad service i sent off a complaint form to Hungry Jacks about the 2 chicken burgers i brought in MOULDY green buns! the only apology i received was "sorry sir there in the wrong buns, i'll get you some fresh ones"....its not the type of bun. ITS THE GREEN SHIT ON THE BOTTOM OF THEM! so hopefully some type of apology will be forthcoming. Free burgers for a year hopefully.

Gotta go its 2.35pm and we're done so gunna hit the surf!

Best job in the world

So yesterday i got paid $50 to eat 3 pieces of KFC chicken...no it wasn't a bet...it was for a market research company.
Gavin at work had sent a email round where we answered a few questions, then the next day i was asked to attend, luckily so was Lyndon who i sit next to and is a connoisseur or fast food like myself.
We turned up salivating at the thought of bucket full's of free chicken, and it was one of them "doctors waiting room" situation's. No one making eye contact with each other let alone chatting, apart from me and Lyndo's acting like a couple of kids waiting to go on the Nemesis! Whilst watching the group before us, i was noticing people nibbling away at their samples as if they were a judge on MasterChef 2007 with mutli accented Lloyd Grossman. NO your eating KFC now eat it like you do in their blue plastic sh!t heap "restaurants" and woof it down in 1 whilst stuffing as many fries in your gob as you can. Then force it down your gullet with a mouth full of drink!! (is this why i have heartburn/reflux problems maybe...)

Our turn arrived and we were given a 20 page questionnaire to complete as we ate, 3 fillets of chicken later and questionnaire completed we were done (and so had they been) as i collected my envelope with the cash in, i held it in the air and said "easiest fifty bucks iv ever made" (not including the time i was short of cash for a taxi down Oxford St...we don't talk about that).

One question for each fillet was: Would this product replace an existing product you eat at KFC.
ANSWER: Are you kidding, Zinger Tower Burger Everytime!

Turns out they don't have Zinger Tower Burgers in Oz, so after explaining to all who would listen around the table about the Zinger Tower i had converted a few people just with my description of it. So in the Any other comments section, we all added Bring the Zinger Tower to Oz! Finally as we pulled out of the business park, Lyndo's pointed out the KFC across the road...weeeellll 3 bits is never enough is it, so we pulled and ordered a burger each just to finish us off.
Currently looking for market research involving any of the following:
Weston's Cider
Powerade
Yoghurt
Boag's Premium Larger
Breakfast bars
Milkshake's

Adios,
The Colonel

I haven't really mentioned my dislike for "skinny" jeans before. Maybe its that if i wore them i would look ridiculous i.e. they are ridiculous.
I will admit certain people can get away with it, if they are 5ft 8" or shorter and have GOOD hair (see Michael Barry for reference). Well on Friday i saw a young fellow running through Manly in Skinny Fit Jean SHORTS!! hanging down his arse and cutting off the circulation to his lower legs. I had the urge to say "what the F*ck DO you look like" but luckily for him i was bereft of alcohol in my system otherwise i would....stupid skinny jeans!

On another note, Dave & I have been given a 4 song set at Shore Club for next Saturday...we are in the process of drawing up a shortlist of floor fillers, the likes of lipps inc. (funkytown) are on the list but i can't give too much away.

Almost forgot to mention how great it was to be in Oz for when we beat them in the rugby last week, the next day there was no mention of the result at all....if they didn't mention it they were trying to make themselves believe it didn't happen haha. Shout of the night was when i heard some rather rude English person shouting "get your sh!t stars off our flag" probably the only time you can get away with that shout. This time next week we could be world champions.

After 2 months of not speaking (had emailed) to the folks or brother i thought id give them a call at 3.30am Sun morning as i was watching the Eng game that we'd recorded on the Foxtel...there was no answer from any of their phones. Then i got a frantic call back saying "whats the matter? are you ok?"
Is it me or does anyone else think this is weird??

Blah blah blah

Along with taking my milk thistle (liver protecting pills) with a bottle of beer...i also ate a chocolate bar whilst on the toilet this week. Yet another thing that makes me think WHY!

If you ever get the chance to watch "Fallen" DONT'T! "Fallen II" was on after this...how they got some people to part with cash to produce a sequal to the original Fallen, i have no idea. e.g.

"you have to become the person you were born to be, your family is in danger...KILLER ANGELS, are on there way to your house right now" (not to mention the talking dog, when it gets told to look after the family.... "Gabriel protect")

Friday we had another Barbie at work, this time i was chef...and everything went without a hitch, then i remembered we had invited some people over for a barbie later that night! Using some of the left over stuff from the work BBQ (cheers everyone for chipping in haha) we had barbie number 2. Then before we went to the football on sat. I had managed to get the box for 12 of us to go...we went to a restaurant where YOU have to cook your own meat. BBQ number THREE!! im getting "meat sweats" just thinking about it.

Now Ben is back from China iv not been surfing as much as i was (4 times a week) i blame this completely on him, he said im not stopping you do it...but when i come home and see someone sat on the balcony having a few beers and relaxing it kind of stops me wanting to run down the beach. (im still at the stage where i think im Bruce Wayne putting on my Batsuit when i put on the wetsuit...big kid i know) So will try and get out there more this week.

Hope everything's good back home with everyone, and happy birthday to Russ for Sunday 7th x.

Parklifey weekend

Just started back at work today after a long weekend, yesterday was a bank holiday or the Oz equivilant...We got Foxtel fitted on Sat so i can now keep up to date with the football.

I went to Parklife on Sunday (dance music festival in Sydney) It was a scorching day, really good setup and some cool acts highlight being http://www.myspace.com/thesounds really good live!! Knew it was going to be a good day when the Jim Beam i had at 11am went down lovely...I wore my 1980's Carterton Town football kit, with the shortest shorts you have ever seen!
There was a lot of people in pink vests trying to be a bit miami vice, also every half an hour you would see someone sprinting off followed by 3 security guards as they had jumped the wall. Everyone found this funny and would cheer the person on.
If you think about it, these people are the reason ticket prices have to be the cost they are. So i was secretly cheering on the security! "get them fair dodging scum".

We left just before the end so we could get back to Manly for the Rugby League Gran Final. Manly were playing The Storm (Melbourne / Sydney rivalry is massive) unfortunately Melbourne won, so Manly did not turn into the party town it could of. I managed to get into Shore Club (our local) still in the 1980s footy kit and proceeded to get my arse pinched by a few ladies, also worryingly a man as well hmmm.
I went onto the dancefloor and everyone visably took a step back as to say "what the hell is with this guy" then when i started to bust some moves and there saw i wasn't a mentalist (mainly cause Ryan joined me, and i then seemed socially exceptable) i was embrassed by the dancefloor elite.
We had been invited to a house party by the Sat night DJ "Kenny G" no not the dentist chair music mystro. Turns out he has a hot tub in his back garden...i was out of the footy kit in a flash and soaked away sipping Jim Beam in the hot tub for the rest of the night.
It has been Manly Jazz festival all weekend too, think i have heard about 15 renditions of bond themes over the whole weekend.
Final couple of things:

* Guy on beach playing music through his phone! GET SOME HEADPHONES!!
* Man walking down to get a coffee at 7am! JUST STAY IN BED THEN YOU WON'T NEED THE COFFEE.

The longest Saturday / Blog

What started as a normal weekend soon turned quite weird with lots to talk about.

Friday: Ryan came round for a few beers before we went down to Shore, we ate quite late and had a pretty uneventful night resulting in him getting kicked out of Henry Afrikas for being too drunk and leaving me dancing be myself. Probably looking like the loneliest man on the dancefloor as I kept looking round for him expecting him to reappear.

Saturday: Jason at work offered me 2 tickets to the NRL semi finals (Manly vs QLD Cowboys) I was playing on staying in on Sat and not spending any money, but when Jase said it was in the “Corp Suite” with free booze & food my issues were not issues anymore.
We got there at 6.30 and proceeded to fill our gullet’s too are hearts content. For some reason on the occasions where I have the chance of free booze, I like to cover all the base’s….so as to not miss out on anything. Johns Boags beer (lovely stuff), Penfolds 75 merlot (nice drop), Vodka & lemon fanta (very refreshing), Bundaberg & coke (not so great).
After Manly trounced the Cowboys we headed back to Manly to celebrate with the locals. After pestering Kenny the DJ for “our songs” (summer rain (Belinda carlise) & I ran (flock of seagulls)) I noticed, lets call her Nicole for legal purposes…we got to know each other a couple of weeks before hand in Henry Afrika’s, somebody dropped a glass and a small shard of glass cut Nicole’s leg I could see she was a bit narked about this, so with my ninja like intuition I grabbed Shaun behind the bar & said I need a plaster asap. I returned with the plaster got down on my knees and covered the wound (small cut) with the plaster expertly, to which I heared a chorus of girls “awwwwwwww-ing” behind me. This did not seem to impress Nicole who shrugged her shoulders in a thankful manner. I was quite annoyed my act of chivalry was not met with more enthusiasm. When I didn’t even get a kiss and the house lights came on I trudged home huffing & puffing.
As I rounded the corner to home I heard some music coming from a groundfloor window, I did what can only be described as a bez dance through the window…it must have done the trick as this resulted in a bottle of beer being passed through the bars on the window also I was offered a invite inside, dancing round the front room of this random apartment being given free beer & JB my thoughts on Nicole soon dissolved. I thanked my new friend Neil greatly for his hospitality and left for the 1 minute walk home.
I walked into my building and pressed for the lift, then I heard a girl on the phone saying “I can’t get in”….so I just shouted 306!! As I took the lift up to slumberland. To my shock there was a knock on the door (it was 3.30am at this point) and Hilary came in saying how she was locked out, we sat down shooting the breeze and next thing I knew I was woke up by Hilary saying from her sofa “jesus its 9am iv gotta go”….i had enough energy to open one eye and was thinking, who is this girl leaving my flat. I heard the door close & next thing I knew it was 2.30pm and Dave was calling me to get down the beach.
Now you’re probably thinking what an eventful night that was…but there was more to come.

I arrive at the beach thinking all the way there that the inventor of sunglasses should be knighted or made a saint as they hide me from the harsh reality of a busy Sunday afternoon where I would of made young children drunk just by breathing on them. I meet up with Dave, Ry, Nad, Dom & Tanya and we share our stories of our weekends etc…...chilling on the beach and doing some snorkeling was a brilliant tonic for the night before’s exploits, then a couple of visions of beauty came and sat near us. Wanting to erase the memory of the horrible Nicole I ventured over to the girls and offered them a CD (which I had just got for free from the 7eleven) for some of their oil, sod this factor 30 sh!t. I thanked them & later on traded some skittles for the CD as I actually wanted it and they didn’t. Yes offering strange girls sweets on a beach…I was lucky not to be arrested! After some Frisbee action we arranged to meet the girls later for some celebratory drinks and had a lovely evening chatting away in Shore, fortunately she had to be at work early so left early-ish which mean’t I was tucked up in bed by 11 after a lovely brew. Meaning im feeling not too shabby this morning.

Boozy Booze Booze

Just wrote a whole blog and hit publish and it was lost GRRRRRRRR!!!

So here's the condensed version. After going out 6 nights in a row which resulted in me shivering on the sofa last monday night feeling like poo, i have taken my foot of the gas. Only going out on Sat night where i met up with Dave & Ryan who had been on a bit of a lame Stag Do (the coolest person was Trev, the 61yr old father in-law!)
So i dragged us 3 off to Dragonflys saying: "if its not good i'll pay for the taxi home myself" where upon i was asked "who do you think you are Les Dennis on Family Fortunes". Surfice to say i did not have to pay for the taxi home as it was really good.

Had a BBQ on Friday at work (happens quite regularly im told), every1 threw $10 in (4quid) for 3 or 4 beers, hotdogs & steak sangers SWEET! Last Tuesday when i had vowed to lay off the booze for a week, I was invited to a work lunch, i had to decline to get some work done. Then went out to say bye to my friend Matthew who was returning to Alais France. And the waitress brang over about 6 free cocktails cause they had been training! was somebody testing me or what...i had a few sips and was tucked up in bed before my carriage turned back into a pumpkin. Hope everyone is doing well who reads my ramblings, always good to hear from you.

“cheeky cheeky”

I was introduced to a new game on Saturday night called “cheeky cheeky”. The rules were explained to me like this:
The person to your left will pinch your cheek and say “cheeky cheeky” then you have to do this to the person on your right.
When it gets round to the start the person can then change hands or change the move to a “temple slide”, “forehand stroke” etc etc if you get it wrong when carrying on the chain you have to neck your drink! SIMPLE…
After playing this wonderful game on the smoking balcony at the Shore Club a lady interrupts Dave, Ryan and myself with the immortal statement…

“do you have a light please, and what is all that shit on your face”

It would seem that when Dave was starting each cycle, he would puts his fingers in the ashtray that was by his side. And be putting it on my face. Kudos to those two mischievous rogues who well and truly, got me.

Not So Secret

So i got the ferry over to Sydney from Manly last night to go over to Paddington.

For those of you who don't know APEC (meeting of world leaders) is going on in Sydney, and George Dubya turned up last night, so as im trying to get back to the ferry. I get stopped at one of the security gates. There was about 10 of us waiting...photographers, press, residents & me.

The cops come over to open the gate, and first bloke says "i live just there, can you let me through" next lady "iv got a APEC pass"....then one cop says to the other (really loudly).
"WHICH ONE IS THE SECRET SERVICE GUY?"
The bloke to my left sheepishly walks towards the gate.

I just burst out laughing..."not so secret now is he!" (i was the only person finding this funny)

Anyway cause of this i missed the ferry by 5 mins but it was worth it.

welcome party

sat at work still pretty inhebriated after y'day's welcome to websters lunch! we ended up at mine sinking through 1 botttle of Jack Beam 1 bottle of John Daniels and 1 bottle of Smirnoff.....i got in at 7am...and im mean't to be working til midnight-ish!

Can't Wait!!

bring on the weekend for some surf and relaxation x

Frank in the Bank

So them helpful people at my bank back home told me I can not withdraw cash in Oz…I have to go into the bank with my passport and driving licence to with draw money grrrrr.

So I headed down to my new bank (ANZ) for the first time since opening the account on Monday, first of all I forgot my passport then had to run back and get it, so I get in there at 3.50pm (it shuts at 4pm). And shortly after I get to the counter a mentalist walks in (think it was autism…proper Rain Man type) and he’s scratching his ears shouting for $250….
A women is following him round asking for ID…and he’s just screaming I want $250….as everyone pretends he’s not there. On his rucksack he has “Frank Blacker” & a phone number written on it.

Then he starts banging on the plastic window that separates the cashiers from the public….he then walks off as if he is leaving. On the way out he walks into a side office and goes into a draw, and comes out with a few dollars. The woman shouts that its her money so a Jim Robinson lookalike (full head of hair thou) grabs him and gets him in a hold. This send “Frank” wild and he’s screaming his head off. I walked over to help Jim restrain Frank…as I walk away from the counter. The shutters FLY UP!.......BANG! my passport drivers licence and money is all now stuck behind a metal window…

I get over to Frank who is screaming and start asking him to calm down and count to 10…which he starts to do but is shouting…then tell him to do it a bit quieter and breathing at the same time….we get him to sit in a chair and I get his bag off for someone to call the number on the bag. Then the cops arrive and have no idea how to talk to Frank but then 2 more cops turn up and one of them realizes he needs to talk quietly and calmly to him…after 40mins stuck in the bank the screens come down and I can get my money and stuff….as I walk past the cops i tell Frank to be good for the cop’s and his carer / parent is apparently on the way. The woman says thanks for your help and I head off to buy a ironing board!

My new life....

I landed Sat morning at 7am and got showed around the Manly area where i am living now. Being the first day i couldn't really stay in, so we went to Kings Cross and danced & drank til 3am. It took me about an hour to get a cab and ended up getting in at 4.30am. 49 hours after i had left my house in Oxford haha!!

Phil an Jane were moving out when i got there so i have taken their old room. Ben goes to China for 7 weeks today.
So i now have a nice 2 bed flat to myself....with a nice view of Manly harbour & 2 minute walk from the beach.Need: a bed, sofa, kettle, iron, ironing board, some drawers etc etc

They have council pickup days when people leave stuff on the streets here, so hopefully i can litterally pickup a few bits.Oh yeah its been raining yesterday and today (hasn't rained in the previous 6 weeks hmmm) at least Sat was nice and hot so i know what it is normally like.

Ben introduced me to 2 of his mates Ryan & Dave who seem pretty cool & are gunna show me around. It seems like everything is a bit more chilled out here, i started work yesterday and this is my second day, they keep saying "ah so you can do LED content" ummm no....oh thats what Ben said. Cheers BEN!!

Opened a bank account y'day, brought stuff for the flat and did some shopping before having a 10 hour big sleep mmmm, 7am til 3pm is what we seem to be working at the mo...bring on the summer i'llbe on the beach by 3.15 everyday wooooo.

Phantom Flee's

Well my ticket has finally come through, my visa has been granted and in 30 hours i'll be living in Australia!!

As iv been waiting for the company im going to, to book the ticket. I have never had a date to look forward to or get anxious about, not sure if thats a good thing....as now its all starting to mount up:

"what the hell an i doing" "will i like it" "can i do the job" "will i be sat by fat people or babies"

I have my life in 2 bags ready to take to the otherside of the world! Getting pretty nervous & excited all at the same time.

Im not sure what to expect, but i have been told that im down to play in a game of football at 3pm Saturday then a party afterwards....i land at 10am. So that is going to be interesting.
Keeping myself hydrated and trying to set my body clock to Oz time now so i hopefully won't be too bad.

Anyone who wants to keep me up to date on some decent music it would be much appreciated as i think Wet Wet Wet are still topping the charts down-under! (i can send you a ftp link to send over some tunes for me if anyone is up for that).

Gunna miss everyone loads!! not to say i'll be sat on the floor rocking like a baby (Paul Robinson breakdown stylee) but will occasionally be thinking about what your all doing "back home".

tada for now and keep in touch on FB & Myspaz. X

Things you might not know...

Here's a few things you might not know

* I was terrified about terrorhawks (i am told)
* I was scared of worzel gummidge
* I love yoghurt (muller's, greek, natural & yoghurt covered stuff e.g. raisins)
* I never liked Nirvana
* I don't like rollercoasters or fast rides
* I don't drink instant coffee
* Van Damme & Segal movies made from 1985-1995 are classic's

all i can think of at the mo...

He's only gone and done it

Me off to another country for....im not sure how long.
I will have to find out how to use this properly when im gone. (in about 3-4 weeks)

waaaaahhhh x

Baby on Board

No im not going to start singing the "B-Sharps" song from The Simpsons....

I was just wondering why people have the BABY ON BOARD signs in there car??
Will a yellow sign with this on stop me from ramming into the back of you?
Sorry if you did not have that sign there i would of tried to run you off the road!
Is it mean't to make me keep my distance? (your baby can not see out the back of your car)

Or do you just want to tell the world you have a baby? in which case....get it tattooed on your FOREHEAD!!

Phantasmagoria

Yesterday i had a dream (no this isn't the start of a Luther King speech). I slept in cause in my dream i was dreaming that i didn't have to go to work....why? i hear you cry. well you might want to know.

Dream: Me, Dan & Dan are driving to work from Carterton, we're driving down ashfield road. and i notice a rather large man in a red suit walking going round a corner at end of the road and it looks like he has a gun (9mm or some sort of automatic).
When the car goes round the corner i look at the man, and he shoots at the car! WHACK!
He's shot me in the neck....we carry on down the road and get to Lloyds bank where we pull up.
I take refuge in there with Geordie (Mark Henderson) who when he first see's us shouts "Wye ey man, wats gan on". The large man in the red suit has now made it to Carterton Town centre and is shooting at anything he see's, women, children, OAPs.
Next thing i know im in a hospital waiting room on a trolley-bed thing, and im watching Celebrity Come Dancing. And Dan W is on there and has just finished his routine, as the lady on the panel says. "i can't see past Dan or Rio winning the show this year". She is on about Rio Ferdinand as it is a footballer special.

Answers on a postcard please.

Last nights dream was that a load of us were playing golf, but i didn't have any clubs.....just and empty bag. And everytime i almost found some clubs to fill up my bag, somehow i wasn't allowed them or they had just been brought or taken. So i was running round trying to sort it out and catch up on the course with everyone. And by the time i did it. They'd all finished.

Answers on same postcard please.
(although i think this might be about trying to do too much and accomplishing nothing)

There be my dreams anyway peeps

Heroes

Think i already have made a few comments on how great i think "Heroes" is!

Some of you have probably seen it, but for those of you that haven't....it's like Lost/X-men. Don't want to compare it to that Mutant X thing on sky that had the rubbish Lex Luther from the rubbish Superman (avec Dean Caine).
The characters in it are awesome and story is just something that i could only wish id thought of.
Get on it if you can, i have all of the fist season at home. Just ask if you want to see it.

Going to go home later and watch the last 10 episodes (about 6 hours im guessing). Its SOOOOO good.

Grandma Jessie Turners birthday dinner tomorrow, must not forget!!

Takeshi's Castle

I remember Axl's blog about Kabudee (spelling i know).

And for some reason it made me think of Takeshi's Castle! Its like Pat Sharpe's Fun House (its a whole lotta fun, prizes to be won.....its a real crazy game where anything can be done) ON ACID! with adults & Japanese adults!

Voiced by Craig Charles....so you keep thinking, when is Cat & Kryton going to pop in. Until you realized Kryton did a real life pinnochio and turned from a cyborg into the presenter of Scrapheap Challenge on channel 4 (he also asked me where the pizza's were in Witney Sainsburys when i worked there) And Cat now works behind the bar in The Three Goats-Heads, on St Michaels Street. Once you are over all that you can sit back and laugh one of the greatest shows ever!


http://youtube.com/watch?v=0zpijWy-O-s

Larry Fishburne Surfs

I went to watch Fantastic Four yesterday, and it was really good. Far better than the first installment of the Fantastic Four franchise. Lawrence Fishburne is the Silver Surfer's voice (one cool dude's voice, voicing one cool character)

Firstly though I saved myself £1.75 by ordering a student ticket online, then when you put your card in the machine it prints out your "cheaper" ticket....then when you walk past the gormless minion who rips your ticket, they don't even ask for any id / student card! PERFICK!
Is going to the cinema alone weird & wrong? If not why does it feel a bit like that.

One thing that really P!SSED me off, maybe you should know that some of the smallest things really annoy me sometimes e.g.
The little flag that comes up on BBC when someone is offside in a football game??? the game stops for the free kick to be taken so we KNOW its offside! we don't need a poxy flag in the bottom left hand corner every time ! It doesn't come up when the linesman gets it wrong either so what is the point?!?!

The thing that agitated me this time was, when I walked towards screen 7's door (fully laden with big gulp & nachos)....the door had a handle on it, so I had to pull it! Surely the doors should be a "push" door not a "pull". Bad design in my eyes and if I had of dropped my nachos cause of this, they would of known about it I can tell you!
I was thinking of hiding in the toilets for 45mins then I could of gone and watched Pirates 3 also, however I wasn't sure that 7 hours spent in the cinema would be a great way to spend a Sunday.
Hreda were "headlining" Charlbury Festival so off I went there instead of hanging round a cinema, calling in at the pub first. Where I found a couple of travel buddies. Namely Michael (who was basking in the glory of ARF being so awesome the night before) & Becky (who was trying to fit through a A4 sized window panel at the time).

We got to Charlbury in double quick time & enjoyed the humid atmosphere in anticipation of Hreda's "new song" & "secret 4th Hredan" (Tom the Chello-man). Hreda were at their usual best! with a slight faux pas on the new song, after 10 seconds of the intro they halted proceedings and started again. The addition of the Cello was very pleasant on the lug-holes and there was lots of whooping from the Charlbury crowd who hand only hand clapped the previous couple of acts. This may have been down to the Swazye-esq Jamie, sending female hearts a flutter but I think we are all agreed it was all down to the Hreda sound!

This was only meant to be a quick blog about my annoyance of the cinema door's. But thought I would play that off against the nice bits of Sunday too.

Deserved Scapegoat

Yesterday i had a formal written warning.... i hold my hands up to making a couple of mistakes recently, as have other people at work.
Maybe i needed a rocket up my arse (not in the literal sense) but i did think a official verbal warning came first.
Everything we do is usually last minute and you have the client demanding it on 1 hand & you have the print dept calling you a w@nker if you bring a rush job down....so its a bit of a lose/lose situation. Good job im thick skinned

If someone in the print dept makes a mistake, the stuff is in the skip quicker than you can say "get that stuff in the skip".....if somethings goes wrong because of me, it seems like, they want to draw attention to it, leave it out for someone to ask whats wrong with that? Oh Leeeee did it wrong.

I know some people at my work actually LIKE people making mistakes so they can draw attention to it! (its like the highlight of their day) One bloke in particular, loves to go straight to the bosses with any slight error.
I have never been like that, and if someones made a mistake i would always try and play it down and resolve the situation. Because of this formal warning, it makes me want to make a list of every error i hear of. I don't think that is conducive to a good working environment, but maybe that is the environment i am already in & should start changing my ways....

This warning was carried out to the letter of the law and will make me a better employee, but i do wonder why they carry out things like this very professionally....but in other aspects e.g. appraisals & pay reviews they have no procedure in place.
Suppose what im saying is they are quick to come down on people, but very very slow in showing appreciation.

I know you shouldn't compare yourself to others, but people have said they can't believe this happened yesterday when there are a few others that this should of happened to also. This just sounds like sour grapes now....but i do think the Boss doesn't like me because i don't, take a great interest in him or laugh at all of his really lame jokes as loudly as others.
So i'll just do the following things and everything should be tickety boo:

Keep my nose clean. -no drugs at work-
Cover my arse. -no bumming at work-


(very self indulgent & boring to read about inter-office politics i imagine....my apologies if you've read through all that)

My new phone

Iv made a new phone, the battery is potassium powered, you can only make call's on it.
Sending texts & hopefully taking photos may be available in future models. Watch this space!

New to this....

can't really find my round this very well. Iv got my username & password sorted now so might just comment on people unless i have something of merit to say, but when has that ever happened.

Im off to go get some £5 jeans for ASDA wooo!

Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush in shepards bush

What a SH!TE day i had yesterday!!

Got a phone call in the morning about a interview backdrop that is needed for The Stella Tournament (not a drinking championship as you would think, but a tennis tournament for those not in the know) @ Queens Club, Kensington.

So i went to work and managed to get a 8x4ft panel in my golf and headed for Londinium.
Dropped off the backdrop! "DONE".
Got offered some free passes to watch the tennis! "NICE".
Rang a mate to meet up for a drink! "SWEET".
Got from Kensington to Peckham in 30mins! "AWESOME".
Went to park up, clutch went krrrack! "BOLL*CKS".

(that was all in a Gordon Ramsey, explaining a reciepe stylee from the F-Word)

7 hours later and a fair few pounds lighter off my car ended up outside Mr Clutch on the Cowley road waiting to be fixed.
Bang went the "cheap" weekend i had planned.....trying to look at the positives, now im a member of The AA, that doesn't mean im giving up the booze!
It means if any of you break down, give me a shout and we can blag The AA to help you out. And the recovery vehicle driver told me some great stories about his drug smuggling days.

Also every time i say Mr Clutch it makes me smile.....